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  1. It also turns out that Rabbi Meir Kahane was Jewish.

    That is what I hate most about those people.

    They try too hard to blend in.


    That’s what they are.

    Which brings me to my favorite moment in an otherwise bleak high school experience.

    I was called a “pushy Jew” by Susan (please avert your eyes, Bill Levinson) Pulaski.

    So I pushed her over the stairwell railing.

    Do you know that old wives’s tale is actually true.

    When Polish people land on their heads, it really does sound like a butcher cleaving kielbasa.

    Anyway, Polish Princess Pulaski never bothered me again.

    And the incident taught me an invaluable lesson that lingers to this very day.

    Never resort to reason when violence is a viable option.

  2. I didn’t know Jackie Mason was Jewish!

    He’s not. He is a Hari Krishna but was a Jehovas whitness, but couldn’t take the corned beef on white with mayo, so now he is a complete Vegan