Chit Chat

By Ted Belman

From now on comments on every post must relate to the content of the post.

Comments that don’t relate to the post must go here.

Any person who contravenes this demand will be put on moderation. Also their offending comment will be trashed.

The reason for this demand is so that people who want to read comments which pertain to the post, don’t have to wade through the chatter.

Everyone will be happier.

April 16, 2020 | 6,820 Comments »

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50 Comments / 6820 Comments

  1. @Edgar What props? He didn’t make you laugh? Those punch lines of yours weren’t particularly funny, not that I haven’t heard them before.

  2. The Russians combatted the “Orange Revolution” by sending in “Little Green Men”. I think they were imitating the Irish Catholics.

  3. SEB-

    gr-niner is how far he went in school before they kicked him out. He thinks it’s the epitome of talent so he refers to everything he likes as a gr-niner.

  4. SEB-

    You misunderstood my terminology. I understood and saw, the points your ‘joke’ was meant to show. What I found incomprehensible was that you should think it funny.

    Yes Victor Borge was excellent always. But he needed his props to assist him to excellence, piano and formal dress wear.

    My choices were stand up comedians who neede d NO props.

    ***** 3 Jews were talking about their wives.

    Jew 1. My wife is wonderful, cooks like a Cordon Bleu Chef, and had a figure like Marilyn Munroe.

    Jew 2 . My wife is no slouch, she sings like an angel, and plays the piano like Rubinstein

    Jew 3. Listen you guys…my wife, when people see her they say ‘”Boy, is that a woman’… Yes, that’s what they all say…”is THAT a woman????”*****

  5. @Felix Ahh, well, in that case screw Trotsky, you Commie bastard. 😀 Talk about stuck in a time warp. You might consider thinking twice before biting the hands that are humoring you. Trotsky is about as relevant here as Jesus or Hari Krishna. 😀

  6. Sebastien Zorn

    Don’t kid yourself whatever you publish about Trotsky is of no concern to anybody but yourself.

    You must live a very boring life coz you sure come across as boring as hell to me. Yawn.

    A nonentity.

    Your verbal ramblings prove time has.long ago passed you by.

  7. @Edgar @ Vivarto Some of the humor I grew up with and which I find funny and timeless, unlike most standup comedy.

    “When speaking aloud, you punctuate constantly — with body language.

    Your listener hears commas, dashes, question marks, exclamation points, quotation marks as you shout, whisper, pause, wave your arms, roll your eyes, wrinkle your brow.

    In writing, punctuation plays the role of body language. It helps readers hear the way you want to be heard.”
    – Russell Baker

    “Victor Borge | Phonetic Punctuation”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIf3IfHCoiE

    “Børge Rosenbaum (Yiddish: ????? ?????????; 3 January 1909 – 23 December 2000),[4] known professionally as Victor Borge (/?b??r??/ BOR-g?), was a Danish-American comedian and pianist who achieved great popularity in radio and television in both North America and Europe. His blend of music and comedy earned him the nicknames “The Clown Prince of Denmark”,[1] “The Unmelancholy Dane”,[2] and “The Great Dane”.[3]”

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victor_Borge

  8. @Felix If I don’t comment on something, it’s because I don’t have anything to contribute or I don’t particularly care.*

    I don’t have a “role” to play, as you enigmatically suggested. I’m done with that pseodo-scientific Marxist silliness. Been there, done that, shouldn’t be news to you by now. As for Trotsky, I did post an article Trotsky wrote that was good from 1933 about Hitler’s fake pacifism which reminded me of Paul Eidelberg’s “Sadat’s Strategy”. I was looking for something I recalled that Trotsky advocated the League of Nations invading and re-occupying Germany in 1933 when it elected a leader who promised to violate the limits to the size of the army imposed by the Versailles Treaty (though he had to have known about the secret agreement Weimar Germany had with the Soviet Union in the 20s, that in exchange for training Soviet troops and intelligence, the Soviet Union would allow Germany to secretly train troops it wasn’t supposed to have on Soviet soil.) But, he was right. And so was GW Bush when he cited the 18 conditions Saddam Hussein violated that were the conditions for him not being overthrown when he was kicked out of Kuwait. The problem lay in the execution. FYI, for most of the time I was a Marxist, I belonged to a tendency that didn’t take a position between Stalin and Trotsky, regarding them both as good Communists. Of course, now I know that that’s an oxymoron, present company excepted of course; If you are nice to me. 😀

    *

    https://youtu.be/JTEFKFiXSx4?si=Gt45caipA9TdWMO1

  9. @Edgar You said it was “incomprehensible.” You misspoke. You just didn’t think it was funny, which is fine. I don’t find Myron Cohen or Jackie Mason funny, at all. I prefer satire and theater of the absurd. Since we were talking about ancient history, I recall discovering and liking Addison and Steele in high school, I should say, when I was in high school. Oh, look what I just found.

    https://www.proquest.com/openview/7ea100ab5ba5f4263b44386abcdff0f9/1?pq-origsite=gscholar&cbl=18750&diss=y

    But, “That’s what makes horse-racing” as the saying goes.

    Though, here’s a joke I’m sure you know, and which I’ve probably posted before, which is probably my favorite joke that would be a point of intersection where we both appreciate the same thing.

    “One day the pope decided to throw all the Jews out of Rome…”

    “He made an announcement to the Jewish community: “Send me your smartest scholar to convince me why I should let the Jewish people stay and I may reconsider my stance.” The Roman Jewish community sent Rabbi Moshe, a 78 year old Hebrew school teacher and, according to everyone but himself, the smartest Jew in Rome.

    The Pope and Moshe meet in a large conference hall in the Vatican attended by everyone that could fit in the room. Since neither party speaks each other’s language, they elect to have their debate using hand symbols.

    The Pope begins by holding up three fingers to which Moshe only raises his index finger. The Pope then makes a circular motion with one finger around his head. Moshe responds with an aggressive point to the floor. Finally the Pope takes out a bottle of wine and a communion wafer, Moshe removes an apple from his satchel and takes a bite.

    With this the the Pope throws his hands to the heavens and shouts “the Jews have done it, they may stay in Rome. I can easily tell when I have been beaten.”

    Later when the Pope convened with his disciples the only thing they wanted to know was how the Pope lost, as they couldn’t understand what was being “said.” “You see,” said the Pope “it is all very simple. I held up three fingers to show that God takes on three forms: the father, the son, and the holy spirit. Moshe countered me with one finger to show that God only has one true form. Next, I made a circular motion to show that God was everywhere to which Moshe responded with his gesture towards the floor which meant God is here with us even right now. The third and final gesture of the wine and wafer was to show that Jesus died for our sins. Moshe used the apple to show me that Adam and Eve were the original sinners. It was all very simple.”

    Meanwhile, over at the synagogue where Moshe took residence, all of Moshe’s disciples were curious as to how he won the debate. “Well you see,” Moshe grunted “the Pope held up three fingers to tell me the Jews had three days to leave Rome. I told him ‘up yours.’ He made a waving gesture with his hands telling me that every Jew needed to leave, regardless of where they go. I pointed at the floor to tell him we aren’t going anywhere.” Moshe resumed what he had been doing before the question arose. His disciples begged him to continue, asking him what the third and final thing meant. Moshe, without looking up from his desk coolly said “And then we had lunch.”

    https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2ou7rh/one_day_the_pope_decided_to_throw_all_the_jews/

    It used to be in the Wikipedia article entitled, “Jewish Humor” but it’s not there anymore.

  10. SEB-
    I wasn’t born yesterday. I understood it perfectly including the wood and hair but didn’t think it was funny . I never see humour in physical defects anyway. And also, they are far too contrived to be humourous.

    My idea of top comedians are Jackie Mason and Myron Cohen.

  11. @Edgar That’sa good one though I’ve heard it before. The first joke I told was a pun. He said, “would” but she heard, “wood” and assumed he was calling her a “wood eye.” A hair lip is a split lip. If I am over-explaining, it’s because it was obvious to me when I heard it and to everyone else I ever told it to so I don’t understand what you didn’t get.

  12. If I take the readers back… Michael tried to educate me about that chart covering the geology of earth, itself fraudulent as I explained. It was the role of Michael to be very confusing

    I answered gently … Saying Check your dates. The reality was he was totally mixed up in his mind about the past history of earth. I mean totally.

    Sebastien Zorn was silent ON THIS not one word.

    Peloni now an assistant editor silent.

    Peloni pushed for years anti science on Israpundit.

    Ted has made Israpundit into an anti science website Why because he excluded the totally large viewpoints that virus is genuine and Global Warming is very real.

    Again Sebastien Zorn has been silent ON THOSE VERY ISSUES

    Recent exchanges show he is also a force for preventing the truth on Trotsky to emerge.

    All lies are of great moment. Jews do understand that at a deep level. But they must come forward more.

    THEY CERTAINLY DON’T ON ISRAPUNDIT

  13. Seb-

    In the manner of a shadchan. “Have I got a joke for you. Told to me by a Chazan, of Cork Shool very many years ago .

    A Rabbi and a priest were travelling in a train and chatting amicably.
    When they got to the Rabbi’s destination he stood up and seemingly crossed himself.

    The priest asked if he’d converted to Catholicism.

    “Nah” said the Rabbi, . The priest was puzzled and asked why he crossed himself.

    Rabbi; “I vas chost czecking that I hed everythink, shpectacles testicles vallet und vatch”
    ….

  14. SEB-

    The first “joke” is certainly not only not funny but incomprehensible.

    The second is a bit better. My lip is O.K. thank you, it was just an expression to show my utter dismissal of the obsessions of our friend Michael S.
    I was afraid he’s start posting reams of Biblical, and pseudo-Biblical unconnected shmattas like a shmeggega.

  15. @Michael Let’s wait until it doesn’t hurt Edgar for him to laugh, ok? Oh, wait, that’s right, Edgar and I don’t laugh at the same things or comedians. It’s not one of the things we have in common. OK, so here goes, it’s an old one I heard as a kid, maybe from someone in my family. We told jokes a lot.

    So, a boy and girl are each sitting alone at a party. He has a split lip and she has a prosthetic eye made out of some kind of wood.

    The boy finally gathers up enough courage to walks across the room to the girl and speak to her:

    “Would you care to dance?”

    Mortified, humiliated and enraged, she shouts at him:

    “Hair lip, hair lip, hair lip!”

    While we’re on the subject, people don’t tell jokes as much as they used to by way of conversation I’ve noticed, but an old acquaintance I ran into recently told me this one:

    Two lawyers are brownbagging it at a diner.

    The waitress says, “Hey! You can’t eat your own sandwiches, here!”

    So they exchanged sandwiches.

  16. @Edgar Hope you feel better. When you are able to laugh, I have a relevant joke to relate to you.

  17. MICHAEL

    That’s all poppycock, these guys are ‘assuming,’ and lots of “it is said” and none can be positively attributed to earlier than the end of the second cent. CE
    Furthermore they mix people with mythical gods and so forth.
    Totally unreliable.

    Christians, because they have NO evidence, are well known for grasping at straws to keep their fake religion afloat. Regardless of how many
    “proofs” you quote, none is reliable. I’m not denying that there were early Christians about whom a Roman Governor asked advice from an Emperor. It’s also MORE than possible that it was faked by later Christians who made a large business of doing so, as they had every piece of writing in their possessions and their inferiority complex was so massive.

    Don’t forget Michael, that 40 multiplied by Zero is still ZERO.

    By the way, it is well known that the REAL inventor of Christianity was Paul the Proven Liar.The “all things to all men” guy. He caught some of the many “G-D Lovers who used to crowd into the synagogues because they were not satisfied with their paganism and were drawn to Judaic ethic. From them the Rabonim , fashioned the Noachides, who, they decided were not Jews but no longer Pagans. He convinced them that it was a Jewish religion, .How he had time, having had to come from Tarsus (if he can be believed) with his epileptic fits, that must have bitten his tongue off 10 times over.

    There’s more, including about James the REAL leader of the Ebionim, but I’m fed up with this crap.

    By the way, the lee side can still be cold. and IS.

    Give it up Mikey.

  18. Hi, Edgar. I have been told that the leeward side of the island gets dry in the winter.

    Concerning the historical references, I wish you would investigate them. I’ll list them here, in chronological order:

    Thallus ~55 AD, non-Christian, quoted c. 220 by Julius Africanus as a hostile reference to Jesus’ death

    the Didache, ~50-70 AD, written at a time when Christian believers met in one anothers’ houses. It refered to contemporary opposition Jews as “hyppocrites”.

    Mara bar Serapion ~73 AD; taken captive by the Romans; refers to “the wise king of the Jews” in passing, comparing his “fruitless” killing to those of Socrates and Pythagoras

    Clement. ~70-96 AD; familiar with the Zealot Rebellion

    Josephus ~AD 93; one fragment translated in the 1970s from an arabic version that attests to the historicity of Jesus and his “brother” Ya’akov.

    Papias ~AD 95-110; studied under Jesus’ talmidim

    Ignatius of Antioch, ~AD 110; martyred for his faith

    Pliny the Younger ~AD 112; Gov. of Bithynia under Trajan; asked the Emperor for advice on how to deal with “Christians”.

    Tacitus ~116 AD, Roman non-Christian historian; reported martyrdom of followers of “Christus” by Emperor Nero

    Suetonius ~AD 120; mentioned the followers of “Chrestus” of AD 41-54

    Polycarp, ~110-140 AD; also martyred, as I recall

    Quadratus, ~117-138 AD; wrote a letter to Emperor Hadrian in defense of Christianity

    Phlegon of Tralles ~AD 140, cited later by Origen; rebutted c. 175 by Origen

    Lucian of Samosata ~166; claimed Jesus was worshipped by contemporary Christians — who “worshipped” crucifixes and denied the Greek gods

    Celsus ~175, wrote a treatise attacking Christianity

    That’s the list — certainly more than the “two and three witnesses” required to condemn a person. If someone refuses to hear them, then of course it would be foolish to think they would hear me, though I were informed by the caesars themselves.

  19. Michael-

    Thank you for your sympathy. My lower lip . It’s been pretty cold here this year and the right conditions for the skin to crack.

    Really minor , but inhibits laughing overmuch. Thank you again.

  20. SEB-

    I think the only dates Mikey knows about grow on date palms. And he finds that a writer of 50 CE is contemporaneous with one of 200 CE. Strange…

  21. Mikey- not to be confused with “Mouse”

    I just searched for and found your post that is supposed to satisfy me. Fortunately I don’t have ulcers so need no pap. My goodness, Mike, you are so easily convinced, that the dozen Florida beachfront lots I have, I’ll keep exclusively for you. Bargain prices too

    I only got as far as “Ignoramus of Antioch” before I quit. I have a split lip so can’t laugh as I want to.

    The poor guy was really confused and all that rubbish is full of “I heard” “it is said”…. He heard so much he must have had ears like a donkey
    I stopped when he said “Herod the Tetrarch” when he meant Herod the King. Herod the Tetrarch was a son of the king and Tetrarch of Galilee, or maybe it was Perea then. You know him better as Herod Antipas.

    He’s the guy who had hot pants for Salome and executed John, about CE 37-8, the “precursor” of “Jesus”, of whom John had never heard, despite the Gospels saying they were buddy-buddy enough for him to present the mythical guy with fluttering doves…..like Mandrake the Magician. I didn’t know they had top hats back then.
    He’s also the guy who was at war with Aretas 4th who wiped him up and who then appealed for the Roman Gov in Damascus to help him and all that. I posted about the history and timeline of these particular incidents recently. Perhaps you didn’t read it. { Aretas was the father of Antipas’ recently divorced wife}.

    Antipas actually executed John because he had so many followers that Antipas was afraid of a rebellion. A. was also the guy who was overheard taking about P.O.T. (Post Obit Tiberius), and got into trouble for it.

    (Did you ever hear to old Navy song about Salome???)

    So save your breath. I KNOW, and You DON’T.

  22. MICHAEL-

    You continue to flatter and delude yourself.

    I have no idea what you’re talking about, I checked out NO posts by you
    So “Down Rover”……. However I see from what you say that your fixation is still strong and “contemporary”.

    NO mostly Pagan writers testified to the mythical Jesus. Anything they wrote about Jesus was completely taken from Christian sources, to wit; the Gospels -or deluded Christian writers. Where else would they get them.
    You need not torture the Latin name “Crestus” into Christus”.

    Nor quote the liar Paul, the fake “Roman Citizen” the tentmake, the very bottom of the artisan ladder. Tarsus is nearly 1500 miles from Rome by road.

    And it has been positively authenticated by literally dozens of not hundreds of experts that The Christian Bible is “largely unreliable”; I recall reading in an article about 50 years ago that there were more than 1800 errors of fact in the Gospels and Pauline Letters. That 7-8 of those letters are proven forgeries didn’t help, I suppose.

    Personally, the first time I read it, at about age 40 I laughed my head off, and nothing has changed since. The whole desert waste of the Christian Bible is a complete Joke.

  23. @Michael

    contemporary writers, from about 50 AD to 200 AD;


    1. : living or occurring at the same period of time. 2. : of the present time : modern, current.5 days ago

    Contemporary Definition & Meaning – Merriam-Webster

    Merriam-Webster
    https://www.merriam-webster.com › dictionary › conte…”

    What are his dates again?

  24. SEB-

    I thought “The Peacemaker” was a Colt revolver. Not a Smith and Wesson.

    Ah, Edgar! I assume you checked out my references — about a dozen of more contemporary writers, from about 50 AD to 200 AD; most of them non-Christian and some of them definitely hostile to Christianity, all testifiying to the existence of Jesus and agreeing to statements in the gospels.

    You were not at peace on these matters, the last time we talked. I hope this has settled things a bit.

  25. I totally agree with Laura Rogan IS a buffoon, but for some unknown reason has tremendous influence. He leans about his subject t whilst the interview is ongoing, makes ludicrous mistakes in repetition, and more.

    His interview with Dr. Neil Riordan is a classic of theking I mention above.

    He never could get his tongue around the Term given to the
    golden” Stem Cell. It’s instructive to listen to it to see the extent of his ignorance.

  26. I wonder who those “aid” workers who Israel mistakenly fired upon were actually aiding. I bet it turns out they were aiding and abetting hamas. I never trust any of these so-called “aid” workers who operate inside Gaza.

  27. I maintain that Rogan is a buffoon, but I do agree he is unfortunately a major influencer which means he should know he has the responsibility to get the story straight about such a volatile issue as what’s happening in Gaza, but he doesn’t care. He’s an entertainer, not a serious broadcaster so he probably wants to be provocative. He might also probably be trying to bait his critics into claiming he’s an antisemite so that he can cry victim of “Jewish power” and censorship and so forth and ratchet up antisemitism among his supporters while claiming pro-Israel supporters just call any criticism of Israel as being antisemitic, thereby discrediting pro-Israel voices. That’s the trap Candace Owens used on her critics. Let’s not fall into that trap.

    So, I’m not going to try to make the case that he’s antisemitic since it’s not obvious that he is, we can just try to make the case that he’s uninformed and correct him.

    Don’t discount Rogan as a buffoon. He is an artful influencer whose personal oppinions carry a great deal of weight for his ardent supporters. And unlike Candace Owens who has demonstrated herself to be a drip-drip-flood advocate of antisemitism, I believe that such a claim about Rogan will be difficult to make, giving his comments in support of such claptrap that Owens would make, a far greater sense of substance to a far greater crowd of listeners. Indeed, this was a very great misfortune in the ongoing public debate regarding Israel for anyone supporting Israel.

  28. @Laura

    Joe rogan is a buffoon.

    Don’t discount Rogan as a buffoon. He is an artful influencer whose personal oppinions carry a great deal of weight for his ardent supporters. And unlike Candace Owens who has demonstrated herself to be a drip-drip-flood advocate of antisemitism, I believe that such a claim about Rogan will be difficult to make, giving his comments in support of such claptrap that Owens would make, a far greater sense of substance to a far greater crowd of listeners. Indeed, this was a very great misfortune in the ongoing public debate regarding Israel for anyone supporting Israel.

  29. Joe rogan is a buffoon. I don’t know why his podcast is so popular. I guess people like mind-numbing drivel.

    He’s not a serious broadcaster that should be weighing in on serious issues. He’s essentially an entertainer. He should stick to MMA.

    Joe Rogan is the world’s biggest podcaster, with an audience over 20 times larger than CNN. His views are influential and often define the prevailing popular thought in the United States. That’s why it was so disturbing to see Rogan speak for several minutes about how Israel is committing a “holocaust” in Gaza, just like the one that (according to Rogan) Jews had ironically suffered themselves.

  30. Incessant lies and propaganda eventually have an effect.

    “Fifty-five percent of Americans disapprove of Israeli military action in Gaza, according to a new Gallup poll. This marks the first time the survey has found a majority disapproves, a rise of ten percent since November 2023.”

  31. A good and justifiable move. Now watch Israel-haters decry Bibi as a “fascist”, never mind no muslim country allows Israeli broadcasters.

    Israel’s parliament passed a law allowing the prime minister to immediately close the Qatari-backed broadcaster Al Jazeera citing a “direct threat to the country’s security” in the context of its coverage since October 7. The bill received support from 71 lawmakers, while 10 opposed. The bill allows the government to close its offices, remove its website, and confiscate devices used to deliver its content.

  32. @Ted Marvelous! Now, when are they going to get around to shutting down Ha’aretz? All the leftwing Israel bashers I know quote Ha’aretz for their blood libels.

  33. @Edgar Your right, of course. I’m an utter colt. Smith will be heartbroken to hear it. Wesson can always content himself with the cooking oil. But, Smith will have to content himself with being the Garfunkel.

  34. HAARETZ

    Israel’s parliament passed a law allowing the prime minister to immediately close the Qatari-backed broadcaster Al Jazeera citing a “direct threat to the country’s security” in the context of its coverage since October 7. The bill received support from 71 lawmakers, while 10 opposed. The bill allows the government to close its offices, remove its website, and confiscate devices used to deliver its content.

  35. Reality Check

    Joe Rogan is the world’s biggest podcaster, with an audience over 20 times larger than CNN. His views are influential and often define the prevailing popular thought in the United States. That’s why it was so disturbing to see Rogan speak for several minutes about how Israel is committing a “holocaust” in Gaza, just like the one that (according to Rogan) Jews had ironically suffered themselves.

  36. @Michael I think if Jesus were alive, he’d agree with me that Easter is an abomination, as like me today, he searched desperately for someplace that was still open after 6pm where he could go to the bathroom.

    I think we can all agree that holidays are an important time for us to stay home and look inward because there’s no place to go to the bathroom outside so our enemies know when and where to invade and slaughter us in the comfort of our own homes.

    “If Jesus were alive today, we’d all be wearing little electric chairs around our necks.” – Lennie Bruce or George Carlin, I forget.