By Ted Belman
From now on comments on every post must relate to the content of the post.
Comments that don’t relate to the post must go here.
Any person who contravenes this demand will be put on moderation. Also their offending comment will be trashed.
The reason for this demand is so that people who want to read comments which pertain to the post, don’t have to wade through the chatter.
Everyone will be happier.
After that you may like the story by M/.M/.Mangasarian of faling asleep for thousands of years and waking up in modern times
After Zeitlin try S.G. F. Brandon.
Edgar G. I posted it on my Facebook Page within quotes but without attribution. It’s great. Thanks. I’m enjoying the Zeitlin vol, 3 because I found it on internet archive so I can enlarge the print. Reading from paper is hard now even with prescription reading glasses though I still try. Thanks for the reference. It’s a gem.
https://youtu.be/KjwrV0wG9E0?si=oqbz8AWslXHrlSAD
NEMOTODE-
I didn’t post it as a joke, but as my recollection of something I read many years ago.
@RASPUTIN That was actually funny. Violists love viola jokes. They’re the Polish jokes of the orchestra. Like Chelm jokes which I’m sure you’re familiar with, it being your home town and all. Did you actually make that up, yourself?
NEMOTODE-
I just recalled some years ago, seeing an ad in the music column of my newspaper
As far as I can recall it went something like this
“ESTABLISHED STRING QUARTETTE REQUIRES TWO EXPERIENCED VIOLINS AND A CELLO……
I assume that must have been you……….!!
“Trump and Netanyahu are such tied at the hip dopplegangers even if they’re not so crazy about each other any more.”
Milosevic must be included in here when talking about international law frameups.
But the media had such a vice like grip of every aspect in that 90s period the truth could not get out.
It is still the classic
A barrage of lies against Serbs
The website http://www.tenc.net is still the template for how to defend Israel today
ROCINANTE- You rang, sir?
ZORNEMO-
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????.>…..!!!!!
@Bottom Cha Ching! jThe King of the Ad hominem Attack is crowned. And, he’s a believer in collective punishment, to boot. Way to go, tvaritsch!
Sorry and regretful I am to comment on a departed lady, but crudity and vulgarity seem to be family traits. So I know how you became what you are……….
@Felix
I’m reminded of the plot of “Our Man in Havana”
but not entirely. Actually, the whole article is timely and relevant and has been for a long long time.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Our_Man_in_Havana
Victor Davis Hansen pointed out that part of the problem with the student rioters is that the universities let people in they wouldn’t have a few years ago, because they tossed objective tests like the S.A.T.’s. so the result is unprepared students and grade inflation as well as simplistic DEI courses for them to pass often ending in “-studies” and unhappy students demanding the university accommodate them rather than the other way around.
Here’s a piece I wrote 7 years ago about that entitled, “Crime and Punishment.” on a blog I just found that I forgot I had created:
—
“Despite recent events, New York City was a lot more dangerous in the ‘80s and ‘90s of the last century (I’ve always wanted to be able to write that — soo cool!, move over Addison and Steele; Ho, Ho, Now, we’re cooking with gas!) Truly, it was like the Wild, Wild West. Drive-by shootings, firecrackers packed with dynamite that would make a whole block shake when a kid set one off, not to mention many other crimes far too unpleasant to mention. It was so dangerous that women often carried pepper spray in their purses, which, then, as now, or so I am told, was illegal. So, presumably, it was not at all uncommon for both victim and assailant to be arrested on a charge of “Assault and Pepper.”
But, eventually, two disparate sets of factors came together to make the city a far far safer place: grade inflation and the dumbing-down of education combined with the increasing complexity of the economy, on the one hand, and the advent of smartphones and tablets, on the other.
In an effort to leave no one behind, the increasingly centralized education system had gone to elaborate lengths to water down the curriculum so that it would be easier for students to pass and less for them to learn. However, prospective employers weren’t stupid and they knew how much education that piece of paper called a diploma represents. So, while the free part of education, through high school, was enough to get a decent job fifty years ago, today, it’s just enough to get one on the road to life-long debt, racking up the equivalent education in the form of college and post-graduate degrees. Meanwhile, the economy has become so complex and high-tech, that to get a decent job, i.e., one that will pay one’s rent and enable one to eat, without even considering family, medical, or retirement options, one must be able to devise elaborate, glossy web pages and navigate internet professional and social networking sites like Facebook, Linkedin, and Craig’s List. Your average cashier must have advanced computer engineering skills just to ring up a single sale.
Paradoxically, this has had the effect of creating a labor shortage in certain areas as more and more people are unable to keep up; and this phenomenon has even filtered down into the criminal underworld where contractors looking to train talented young potential recruits in the criminal arts are reduced to handing out fliers. I saw such a flier, just the other day, on the door of my building. It said: “Wanted — For Robbery.” Good help is so hard to find!”
https://pinchinat.wordpress.com/2015/01/02/crime-and-punishment/
@MR. ED As my late big sister used to say all the time when I was little, “Oh, sheis on rice.”
SENEMO-SHMO
Not unexpected; you have a habit of crawling out of uncomfortable but true situations with your usual non sequitur. Fools nobody, shows your craven instinct to “run”…god forbid it must be a sight.
“I can vouch for there being a type of Zionist who doesn’t care what kind of society our “state” will have; I’m that person. If I were to know that the only way to a state was via socialism, or even that this would hasten it by a generation, I’d welcome it. More than that: give me a religiously Orthodox state in which I would be forced to eat gefilte fish all day long (but only if there were no other way), and I’ll take it. More even than that: make it a Yiddish-speaking state, which for me would mean the loss of all the magic in the thing—and if there’s no alternative, I’ll take that, too.”
https://www.cfr.org/blog/parallel-thinking-two-great-men-nationalism
Gallows Humor even I can’t top:
“Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.), for example, said the ICC was “right” to request arrest warrants, writing in a statement,
“These arrest warrants may or may not be carried out, but it is imperative that the global community uphold international law.”
https://thehill.com/homenews/house/4677792-johnson-gives-schumer-an-ultimatum-on-netanyahu/
Wadddya call what we got now, bub? “At long last, Senator.”
“Let us not assassinate this lad further, Senator. You’ve done enough. Have you no sense of decency, sir? At long last, have you left no sense of decency?” – Joseph N. Welch to Senator Joseph McCarthy (1954)
“This trial is a travesty. It’s a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham.”
– Woody Allen, “Bananas” (1971)
Never truer words spoken, all humor aside.
Trump and Netanyahu are such tied at the hip dopplegangers even if they’re not so crazy about each other any more.
@Edgar No requests, bub. Just what’s on the menu. No fress, no mess.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wtfNE4z6a8
ZORNEMO-SHMO (and Michael if he’s collaborator but I thikk Zorro is just using him as a foil.I have no animosity towards Michael)_
Many often think of the perfect answer too late. And your perfect answer is perfectly suited to your common, vulgar character.
So enjoy, and again “fress deine baytzim ohne zaltz”
Think of a perfect answer to THAT.
Take your time.
I notice that you have quit your “jokes” since I requested 2 specific ones….????? I wonder WHY?????????????
I think that they are NO joke to you………………..
One thing I will say for you. You have a liking for filling these pages with occasional relevant items, but mostly for taking up space with your ridiculous self praising (intended) mouthings full of verbiage believed by you (only) to be “clever”.
“Shlog dein Kopf en Vant”
“Ge schvollen Zulst du Veren” (I don’t think this will do since you’ve already posted that you are in that condition-if you can be believed??)
@MIchael, Edgar L’esprit d’escalier:
Merde!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1Mptgi23YE
@Michael
My comment: Another chestnut (joke so old it’s joints creak) for you:
“Sshhh. Don’t say, “shit” in front of the c*h*I*l*d*r*e*n”
and
I already knew the first bit meant, “kiss my ass” but google translate didn’t know the other one, either. Marvelous!
Now, MIchael, Apologize to Edgar for being an American, RIGHT NOW! How dare you.
“You have stolen my dreams and my childhood with your empty words.”
https://youtu.be/O2hi1cdr4jY?si=UcJLUVBhYRPJTbmm
“At long last sir, have you no sense of decency, sir. At long last, have you left no sense of decency.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7x8RkdG6I0
“[It’s] a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of two mockeries of a sham.”
https://youtu.be/bphR-6Xi1_I?si=Fw3_LyEbmtx76Jv0
Edgar has evolved into a master of Anarcho-Marxist dialectics, I see. To whit:
Thesis:
Antithesis:
and the Piece de Resistance, Voila, Synthesis:
Bravo. An absurdist after me own heart.
My reply to Tanna is in moderation.
@Tanna Thank you, but none of you seem to have noticed that I only wrote the preamble in which I humorously suggested that this is the only way to make sense of the nonsensical proposals coming from the likes of Ganz, Gallant and Co. (that’s a bit of a humorous reference to Marx and Lenin who were always referring to political opponents Iike that, incidentally.) But the story was from a collection of TRADITIONAL Hungarian fairy tales edited by the very Same Gulya Ilyes, the famous Hungarian poet, himself, whose poem, One sentence about Tyranny, a link to which I posted somebody translated into English, had played a very important role in both the Hungarian Revolution of 1956 and the one in 1988 when Hungary transformed into a democratic republic.* The piece also talks about the parallels between him and Orwell.
It was my favorite fairy tale as a kid and probably the first one anybody ever read to me sparking a life-long love of theater of the absurd.
If you google the title, many used book sites have it:
“Once Upon a Time” edited by Gyula Ilyes.
and a Wikipedia article about him.
This is the part I wrote:
“Some of you may recall, a real-life joke/anecdote i told in which the punchline was that the thing that binds us Jews together as a people, the single most important principle is that we all desperately wannabe Asians.
Well, that doesn’t seem to apply in Israel – pehaps because now they’re “Western Asians?” – I dunno – but who would have ever thought that Israeli liberals desperately wannabe Hungarians?
Apparently the capitulationist Deep State folks took to heart Robert Fulghum’s “Everything I ever needed to know, I learned in kindergarden.” But, go figure they meant everything I learned in Kindergarden. to whit:
“The Truest Adventures of the Truthful Mountain Boy”
(from “Once Upon a Time, Forty Hungarian Folk Tales” edited by Gyula Ilyes, Corvina Press. Hungary 1964, 1970. Typed from the book for Israpundit by SZ. I left out the accents and the umlauts because, well, it’s just too much trouble. Sebastien has an accent, too. It’s French.)”
—
*One sentence about Tyranny by Gyula Ilyes (1950)
https://debategraph.org/Details.aspx?nid=123391
Gyula Ilyes
https://www.britannica.com/biography/Gyula-Illyes
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gyula_Illy%C3%A9s
Once upon a Time: Forty Hungarian Folk Tales
https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/3406898
Seb, I like your story. it might be tommyrot, bit I could have gotten an A+ in 6 grade English with a story like that.:) Anywho, in my best French… may see, bu coo!
Hi, Sebastien.
I think Donald Trump is keenly aware of loyalty (and disloyalty); and he tends to take people at their word until they lay down their hand. So, what’s with Javanka?
@Michael I know. It’s ironic. I don’t think they realize Trump is pro-Israel. He won’t turn down support from anybody but he doesn’t make policies opportunistically to please constituencies. I know a black pro-Pal leftist who supports him. Go figure. I didn’t try to enlighten her.
Hi, Sebastien et al. The following seems to point towards a major US policy change, no matter who gets elected:
https://www.breitbart.com/2024-election/2024/05/21/trump-makes-inroads-with-arab-americans-muslims-as-they-abandon-biden/
You have to admit, American Muslims have been more supportive of President Trump lately, than American Jews have (cf Schumer, Schiff, Garland, Cohen…). Even in his family, we have:
https://www.businessinsider.com/ivanka-kushner-rebranding-distance-from-trump-legal-trouble-persists-2023-5
The situation is complicated.
Sick “jokes”.
Zorn-
how about telling us another joke.-or two…like
How tall are you and what do you weigh??
Did you ever have a girl friend??????????????
It becomes more and more fact that there is a wide gap between myself and the Average American shmo-like Zorn for instance.
I was brought up to eschew foul language in all it’s aspects and still adhere to it. The casual use of the term s**t, demonstrates once again the vulgarity displayed by certain people.
And to have a little girl (undoubtedly a midget masquerading as a child) so freely use foulness and call it a “joke” is positively obscene.
Hi, Sebastien
I;m glad you appreciated the “Satan” satire.
I heard the atheist “sh-t” joke before… Plenty of ranchers and farmers out here, who know the subject well. For instance, we know the major difference between feces on the sidewalks of San Francisco, and that on a dairy farm — the “grass” contents are different.
Watch where you step. Shalom
@Michael This joke popped up on my FB page today and I transcribed it:
An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, “do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your felllow passengers.” The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, “what would you like to talk about?” Oh, I don’t know,” said the atheist. “How about why there is no God or no heaven or hell, or no life after death?” as he smiled smugly. “okay,” she said. “those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet, a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. “Why do you suppose that is?” The atheist visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thought about it and replied, “hmmm, I have no idea.” to which the little girl replied, “do you feel qualified to discuss God, heaven and hell, or life after death, when you don’t know shit?”
I’m reminded of
Steve Martin “The Jerk” (1979) – “Shit and Shinola”
https://youtu.be/Cly1JNCxlro?si=kkNSktndyR0bQ89n
https://jweekly.com/2012/09/28/tygerpen-yiddish-cursing-an-artful-tradition/
“…When I was a kid growing up in Portland, Ore., I sponged up the Yiddish my parents spoke frequently because I wanted to know what information they were hiding,..”
That was my late mother’s situation growing up in Crown Heights, Brooklyn in the ’20s and ’30s. Fortunately, in mine it was Hungarian, growing up on the Upper West Side of Manhattan in the ’60’s and ’70s and I didn’t pick up much of that before my father moved out when I was 9. It reminds me of a real life joke I wrote and may have posted here — prompted by an antisemitic medieval children’s play I was forced to watch at a Christmas gig I had been hired to play — whose punch line was: “It is at times like this that I’m filled with a profound sense of gratitude that I don’t speak a word of Ukrainian” – and which I later expanded into a piece about how it’s not being able to learn anything but English that has made Americans so magnanimous because “if we understood a word of what people were saying about us in their own languages, we’d be in a pretty bad mood.”
ZOREN-
Kush mir un tucchas arein…..!! Fress deine Baytzim un salz….!!
Yassam-
Ah done agrees.
Edgar Yawl is beyond redemption
@Michael Great topical satire from Babylon Bee, MIchael. I love it. Thank you.
Latest word from Satan:
“Tone down the evil!”
https://www.worldtribune.com/unreported-satan-stages-an-intervention-with-minions-over-election-year-strategy/
@Sebastian
Help! I fell down laughing and I can’t get up! I’m sure that I saw that skit on Saturday Night Live some years ago.
@Edgar Talk about projection. Your first review of my post was an open personal attack and a totally subjective one at that, you arrogant schmuck. I see you are not a man of your word. You have decided to supercede your buddy Felix, who hasn’t been so bad lately, as the godfather of the ad hominem attack. Gloves off.
HI, Raphael
It’s always cheering, to see “The Donald”.
https://choiceclips.whatfinger.com/2024/05/21/trump-breaks-internet-with-inspirational-new-ad-upbeat-vision-for-america/
There there hunny-bunny……. sebbie-webbie is here…..use my sleeve, ………..Clik-clak cli- clak..
ZORN-
you may have chosen to restart your bitter crap, but MY response is
“Klop dein Kopf in Vant”.
@Raphael Thank you. Yes. I love Trump’s sense of humor. Remember when he tossed some Starbursts to Angela Merkl on his way out the door and said, “Don’t tell me I never gave you anything.” ?
@Honeybee You are a lady and a scholar. Don’t mind this humorless boor.
@Edgar I chose to start it up again?
If you need a good laugh today, watch this one-minute video of Trump roasting Biden. It’s sort of on topic, huh Ted?
https://x.com/i/status/1791649284917526663